The Eejits Club

Sae ye want tae jine the Eejits Club?
Weel shaw us yir CV –
Ye dae doughnuts in yer motor
At the retail park Grand Prix,
Fae the first tae tenth November,
Ye set fireworks aff at nicht,
Ye share things ye see on Facebook,
Withoot checkin if they’re richt.

Ye willnae hae a vaccine,
It’s aw “GPS and DNA”,
Ye think climate change is havers,
Cause it snawed wan year in May,
Weelcome tae the Eejits Club!
Ah say withoot a qualm,
Though ye’ll stert at Grade Three Dunderheid,
Ye’ll soon mak Super Bam.